Transient Loneliness
by Neo the Saiyan angel
Summary: Again, one of Homura's minuscule pool of friends falls in the eternal fight against grief. Again, she is reminded that she will inevitably be alone again. And again, someone brings a light of hope into her life that, maybe, she won't actually be as alone as she thought.


This was it. It was all done. Ashes and cinders rained from the smoldering ruins of what had been a group of wraiths, but they were all destroyed. The dust of their bodies lay on the ground in uneven piles.

As did the shards of a red jewel. A soul gem. Kyouko's soul gem.

Homura wiped the blood from her lip as she shakily got to her feet. The battle had been the worst one she'd had yet with the wraiths. Even fighting with the others didn't make it much easier. And now they were down to two.

She could see Mami cautiously making her way to her. The upperclassman was holding her bleeding arm, a wince of pain continuously flashing across her face. But, other than the obvious injury and grime, the blonde looked no worse for wear.

Mami cautiously asked, "Kyouko. Is she…?"

Homura shook her head. "She didn't make it. She drained the last of her magic to destroy the last pack of wraiths."

"Oh." Mami's lips tilted in disappointment and sadness. "So it's just us."

"Yes. Just us."

"Hm…" Ribbons suddenly formed in the upperclassman's hands. Carefully, tightly, she secured the cloth over the bloody injury to her arm. Another ribbon appeared in her hands in a shimmering band of sparkles. "Here." She offered the yellow ribbon to Homura. "I'm sure your injuries are as bad, if not worse. You went charging in so fast to save Kyouko…"

Homura eyed the ribbon quietly. "...Thanks. But I don't need it."

"Oh?" Mami seemed to be judging Homura. "Very well then."

The ribbons in her hand vanished in another shimmer. The two of them stood there, looking at the piles of ash. Then Homura walked over to one of them and started sifting for the grief cubes the wraiths left behind.

As Homura searched for the cubes, Mami seemed to be looking for something else. Homura focused hard on the task of collecting the grief cubes. She didn't want to think on anything else. She didn't want to think on one more of her minuscule pool of friends was now gone. About the loneliness. The ever-present, ever-growing loneliness.

Suddenly Mami made a noise and walked into the middle of the empty battlefield. Then she began to gather the little shards that had been Kyouko's soul gem.

"I'm going to give her a funeral. Put her soul at ease," the older magical girl explained, more to herself than Homura it felt like.

"You don't need to worry about that. Madoka will take care of her," Homura replied quietly.

"Mmm." Mami continued to silently gather the small pieces of gems for a minute, signaling to Homura to gather more of the grief cubes. Then, loudly, she said, "Madoka...you mention her a lot, yet you say nothing about her." Her hands stopped as she looked up at Homura curiously. "What was she to you?"

There was a strange edge to Mami's question, like the wrong answer could crush her. Homura wasn't sure why, but at the same time it wasn't her place to pry. Yet, Mami was now doing that to her. Asking the taboo question, one that Homura had avoided trying to answer. They couldn't understand her loss.

Yet she felt compelled to answer this time.

"She was my best friend. My first friend. My only friend." Her hands unconsciously ran down the ribbon in her hair. "She gave herself for the good of all magical girls. I…" her throat clenched as she choked out "...I miss her."

Instead of looking at her with concern as Kyouko did many a time whenever Madoka was mentioned, Mami softly nodded her head. She got up from the ground and walked over to Homura. "I can understand that sort of loss."

"No, you can't." Homura's voice hardened as she glared at Mami. "I was entirely alone before her. You, you had parents that _loved_ you."

"And they died," the upperclassman said simply. "They could have lived, but they died due to my short-sightedness." Mami gave a small sigh. "You at least don't have to blame yourself for her being gone."

"Why do you believe me, about Madoka existing?" Homura asked accusingly. "As far as you know, I've only known you, Sayaka, and Kyouko as friends."

The blonde pursed her lips before answering, "There's a string missing. Actually, there are _several_ strings missing."

Homura gave a slow blink.

"What I mean is that there are strings of fate that's missing from you. I can feel them with my powers. Your feel...empty, in places compared to others. I imagine that's where she, Madoka, had been." Mami wrapped her finger around something in the air a few times. The shimmer of her powers brought to life a red string that seemed to be connecting her and Homura. "We all have strings tying our fates to each other. I can see some of them if I try."

"This is…" Homura tried to grab the small thread-like ribbon between her and Mami. As expected, it phased through her fingers.

"Interesting, isn't it?" The small thread vanished back into the nothing. "It's why I believe you. That a Madoka existed, and she was your best friend." A moment passed before she continued, "But you know, you aren't alone." A strangely cautious smile came to Mami's lips. "I'm here. I'll always be here for you."

The tone of the words made Homura's heart skip a beat. And the words themselves…

But no. She was wrong. Homura would be alone again eventually.

Madoka left her. Kyouko left her. And, eventually, Mami would leave her too.

No matter how much Homura wanted Mami to stay, no matter what the threads of fate between them meant, they would be torn apart eventually. For some reason, the truth clawed at Homura's heart. Because she wanted to believe Mami was right. That they would at least have each other.

Homura shook her head, deciding to impart the truth onto Mami. "I'll be alone again eventually. Everyone leaves in the end."

She was surprised when Mami's hand suddenly cradled her face. The blonde replied with soft eyes, "I won't let that happen. We _both_ know the ache of loneliness. At least together we aren't alone. And I'm sure you'd fight just as hard for me."

It was true. Just as she'd tried with Kyouko, Homura would work herself to the edge to do her best to protect those she cared for.

And...and she cared for Mami. A lot. A different, strange level that she wasn't familiar with. The kind that squirmed when things such as Mami cradling her face happened.

For some reason, this time she believed the upperclassman.

She shifted on her legs, trying hard not to blush at the warm, soft hand on her cheek. "I-..."

Suddenly it felt like someone shoved Homura from behind. She lost her balance, falling forward into Mami. The blonde was taken by surprise and did nothing but try and fail to compensate for Homura's balance before failing and falling backwards as well.

It took a few seconds for Homura to register that she was now on top of Mami. The blonde's face was inches from hers. Mami seemed to come to her senses just as quickly as Homura as she was now paused in the middle of beginning to sit up, her elbows holding her up.

Then, slowly, deliberately, Mami leaned forward and kissed Homura on the lips.

It felt hot. A strange gushing burning was churning in Homura's heart and gut as she tried to process just what was going on. In the time it took for anything to really register, Mami had pulled back and was now watching her reactions.

After a moment of quiet studying from Mami, Homura finally found the thoughts for what just happened. Mami had kissed her. On the lips. And...and she liked it. A lot. Her cheeks were burning for sure, but there was a layer of pleased feelings flowing through her.

She'd wanted this.

"I suppose that was a little too sudden and forward?" Mami now had a sad smile. "I apologize. I thought that-..."

"I liked it," Homura bluntly butted in.

The blonde blinked a few times in rapid succession. "Oh. Oh! Well! Good!" She beamed. "Never alone again."

Homura nodded, and softly echoed, "Never alone again."

She leaned forward, their lips once again meeting.

A deep part of Homura didn't believe it. They would inevitably be separated again. Death would draw them apart.

...But even then, they would both join together again with Madoka. Kyouko. Even Sayaka. Mami and Homura would be together again in eternity onwards.

Alone for a while. But not forever.


End file.
